"I thought it was an endless orgy." A participant of the kink party revealed details of sex parties in Bali

We decided to find out what to expect from such parties in Bali – they are regularly held on the island – from one of the participants.
Photo: Shutterstock
If a girl doesn't want any problems with the local police and the people we'll be talking about next, the interview will remain anonymous.
The first and main rule of a kinky party is not to tell anyone about it. But we are breaking that rule right now. Why did you decide to share your experience?
Because I find it very interesting. Previously, when I saw someone going to various "sex gatherings," it intrigued me a lot, and I wanted to know what it was really like. So, I shared this experience with my Instagram followers and now here. Not to show off how cool I am and how rich my life is, but to share the experience. I want people to step out of their comfort zones and see what else is out there. I find it very interesting.
Now, let's compare expectations and reality. How closely did they match?
In expectation, sex was the main purpose of the event, but in reality, it was not.
What did you originally imagine? I thought I would arrive, and everywhere people would be having sex on every square millimeter. I thought it would be some kind of endless orgy. In the end, there was sex, but only towards the end, after midnight, and in a small number of places. It didn't happen visibly around you. It happened in places you had to reach. There was no endless sex around.
In reality, it's a way to discover yourself. It's very Balinese. I know who and why created this gathering. They did it precisely to liberate, so people would stop feeling shy, to show them what's possible. After all, you go there in an outfit you wouldn't wear anywhere else, it's already the first step out of your comfort zone. Plus, in general, in such circumstances where people can walk around naked, which is usually super taboo, it was a very supportive and safe space. If you don't want to, no one will do anything to you.
Plus, there was a tea zone on the ground floor of the villa, where you could just drink tea, swim in the pool, and meet foreigners. I talked to many people, and I really liked it.
How quickly did you manage to feel this liberated vibe and join it?
I think it took me three and a half hours. We entered at 7, it started at 8, and by 10 or later, I started feeling somewhat normal.
At first, I had a panic attack. I held my friend's hand, saying, "Why did we come here? What are we going to do here? How will we communicate with people?"
I didn't understand. It was very difficult for me.
I'm still a very closed person in this regard. I need a lot of time in close relationships to get used to a partner and start a relationship. So, it was a super step out of my comfort zone.
Shibari helped a lot. There was a special room for bondage. They advised me to go to the woman who worked there. They said that if I went to her, I could let go of control and stop worrying so much. But I couldn't decide for a long time until she approached me several times and offered. It was a really cool experience that made it easier.
What else could you do there besides sex?
At the beginning, they gathered us on the ground floor of the villa and gave us instructions, told us about the zones, and distributed cards with easy tasks for getting to know each other. I immediately got acquainted with a German guy. He was there for the first time, but he was so modest and handsome. The second German asked why I came. I said, "Communication skills." He said, "Isn't it networking?" And added, "If you want anything, find me, take my hand, and lead me wherever you want." It all started very modestly.
Then, they led everyone to a massage room. There was no masseur, and we were asked to close our eyes and start touching each other. So, you stand there, touching each other, and then you kiss. That's when I immediately left because it's very tough when strangers touch you; I don't like that. So, I went to smoke.
But that was the first and only thing that was somewhat compulsory. You can understand the organizers here too because their task is to relax people so that everyone feels comfortable, and this was the first step toward that.
Those who wanted to stay in the massage room did so. Closer to the night, some engaged in sex there. There were also several rooms for orgies and a BDSM room with BDSM equipment. But I didn't participate anymore.
There was no actual food; everyone was warned to eat beforehand. There was catering and snacks. I only drank Sprite and tea. You could bring alcohol with you, but nothing stronger than wine.
What else did they tell during the briefing? Besides that you shouldn't talk about the party?
What happens at the kinky party stays at the kinky party. That's right. But there were other no less important rules.
For example, there were colored bracelets that determined your vibe for the day. I had a yellow one, the lightest, like "maybe, if you ask." Those with red bracelets wanted to remain observers. You couldn't approach them at all. And if the bracelet was green, everything was allowed. You could approach without asking and do whatever you wanted.
Plus, there were people you could turn to if you felt uncomfortable. If you were scared or didn't like something, you would approach and talk.
Oh! The most important rule - say NO. And that's precisely one of the criteria for a good sex party when you practice saying the word "no" at the general meeting right at the beginning. That is, during this warming-up massage, they taught us to say "no." They literally said: now turn to the person and tell them NO. This is very important. Communication is crucial.
Was everyone ready to communicate adequately?
Those who weren't ready were screened out during the interview. You couldn't get in without it.
I actually found out about the party through a friend. She gave me the organizers' number, who then scheduled interviews. This was for everyone.
Their main goal was to understand how adequate a person was. If they were there just for fun, it was immediately apparent. And here it's essential not to let those who could spoil the mood or vibe get in.
In most cases during the interview, the girl enlightened, asked what I was going for, what I wanted, what my expectations were. Let's say, they brought me up to date.
And what about safety in terms of hygiene?
When they instructed us, they told us in advance that everyone brings their condoms and asked to dispose of them carefully, not to scatter them around, so everything is clean and pleasant for everyone.
But I don't know the details; I didn't have anything with anyone. I didn't use them.
But for sure, you could use common toys. Because I saw them on the ground floor.
So, no one showed each other certificates?
Initially, they said that there would be white bracelets that those without certificates would have to wear. So yes, to avoid getting one, you had to prove that you were clean - free of chlamydia, herpes, and so on. But I didn't bother getting a certificate. And in the end, no one forced me to wear that white bracelet at the entrance.
Honestly, few people paid attention to the bracelets, in my opinion; everyone didn't care about it.
And what about the price?
Here it's crucial. For the future, I just collected opinions on this matter. If such events are free or have a very low fee, it's complete nonsense; you shouldn't go there. It means it's some unsafe story because organizing a sex party is never cheap. It's a complex organization. Organizers are responsible for safety and must guarantee that this event is not garbage.
It was expensive. I was surprised when I saw the price. For men - 2,200,000, for women - 1,100,000. It seems like that. But we got a discount (didn't specify for what exactly).
What audience gathered in the end?
People were different, but mostly adequate. These are free people who try a lot and want to explore themselves somehow.
There were men, both first-timers and those with experience. One, for example, approached us, said he already had experience, and "if you need anything, come to me, I'll show you, tell you everything." Everyone was okay.
But! There was a guy who shamed me about my age. Yes, I look very young. That's a fact. But he asked me, "Do you even have 18?" It was unpleasant because at such a party, you're already anxious, worrying that you don't look right, let alone doing something. It squeezes you because there are many people around, and then someone shames you about your age and appearance. 
There were also many foreigners, by the way. Although the organizers, as I understood, were Russian speakers.
Do only single people go there, or were there couples?
I don't understand; I think most were alone. But I don't know, to be honest.
At the same time, I believe that couples must-have such parties. It's something that is necessary. I'm very sorry that I don't have a steady partner. I would gladly go with him. It's a very cool theme for partnership. Alone, you just explore yourself, and with a partner, it's a very cool thing.
So, you would like to see how your partner becomes more liberated with someone else?
No, of course not. Why? He won't be with someone else. You just go together and try some things as a couple. It's cool. For a shared experience, you can try something from BDSM, shibari, erotic massage.
How intimate was the atmosphere?
I understand that every time this happens in a new place that they keep secret until the last moment. This time the villa wasn't very large, probably around 50 people.
You mentioned in your blog that there was a cameraman at the party. Why is that? And what about anonymity?
I don't know where they post it, but they filmed without faces. There was also a photographer, by the way. There's an assumption that it's just in the party's archive. Because they have a large community. They not only have sex parties, they also have just hugging parties. They gather for other activities too.
Do they take guests' phones at the entrance so that the footage doesn't spread online?
I was sure they would take everything and prohibit shooting. But honestly, I don't remember being warned not to shoot or take photos. I think it was like a leitmotif. Everyone knew this.
At some point, I took out my phone. But I didn't shoot anything. I just answered someone. And there wasn't any beating on hands. Yes, no one took anything. We just left our phones in the changing room.
Bali is known for helping people open up and find themselves, but more often, people come for yoga, meditations, and other spiritual practices. How did it happen that you chose such an unusual way of self-discovery?
Well, perhaps everything related to yoga and meditation will come to me in the future. The island will enlighten me, so to speak. But in general, I am already a very reflective person who is constantly in therapy and working on myself. So, I don't need that right now.
However, the experience of a kinky party was very necessary for me. Because in this regard, I am a complete novice. I only started thinking about what kind of woman I am and what I like or don't like a couple of months ago.
So, straight to a sex party?
I talked in my blog about needing people, needing communication. In response, a subscriber writes, "Will you go to a sex party?" I immediately take a screenshot and ask, "Shall we go to a sex party?" I did it even as a joke; I wasn't planning to go. People thought I was serious, supported me a lot, and I saw huge interest, so I decided to continue this storyline.
And another reason - I was very scared. And I have a rule: if I'm scared, I do it. And I thought that I could always choose not to go there; nothing would change in my life. But what if I go?
What were you specifically afraid of?
Judgment, of course. I was afraid that everyone would look at me and think that I'm probably weird because I'm interested in going to such a party, that I'm unsatisfied, that something is wrong with me. I thought everyone would be judging how I look. And, in general, it's always scary to try something new because you don't know what will happen there.
I was afraid of judgment and non-acceptance.
You say it's a transformative experience. What has it changed in you? Do you feel any differences?
I won't talk about the entire experience I had. It's very intimate, and I want it to stay with me.
Nevertheless, this experience gave me an understanding that you can experience pleasure and have a sexual connection without having a steady partner in life. And it's possible even without engaging in sex.
I can't say yet how it has affected my everyday perception of myself because that would be somewhat strange. At the same time, for my personal (not what I broadcast, but what's inside me), it's as if the horizon of what I want and what I like has expanded. Because I've been a very closed-off person in this regard for a very long time, and for me, going to such an event is a rupture of everything. So, it's cool to discover myself and see how else it can be. Because when you're super closed-off, and the word "sex" disgusts you, it's very bad.
Did you manage to continue communication with someone?
One man, with whom we kissed, messaged me later. Plus, I got to know a very cool and well-known shibari artist. I have her contact. But overall, for life, no.
Do you want to do it again?
I will probably go to BDSM, most likely tomorrow...
Silver Fox avatar
05/09/24
05/09/24
Interesting article - and very honest, thank you.

Is it possible to get in contact with the party organizers? Happy to share my contact details in confidence.

Thanks in advance. 
H
12/11/24
12/11/24
I’m in Bali now and I’m interested in attending one of those events
Bee C avatar
23/10/24
23/10/24
My girlfriend and me are in Bali, and have been to parties before. Is there any way to contact the organisers to find out if there are any upcoming parties we can attend?